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We need to consider the offender’s role in facilitating forgiveness, fostering reconciliation, and promoting restoration. We often place a lot of focus on those who are hurt, harmed, and wronged without considering the offenders’ role, which is significant in the process of healing and reconciliation.
Matthew 5:23-24
23 Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
This passage emphasizes the importance of seeking reconciliation with those we have offended or who hold grudges against us. If someone feels wronged or offended by us, we need to seek forgiveness and reconciliation.
After Jacob robbed Esau of his birthright and received a blessing meant for him, he demonstrated a high level of remorse and a genuine desire for reconciliation many years later when he met him. That made it easier for Esau to forgive him (Gen. 27; 32; 33).
We can follow his example and walk through these steps as we work towards healing broken relationships.
1. Acknowledge the offence. We must acknowledge and admit our wrongdoing without making excuses or shifting blame.
2. Pray for guidance. Seek God’s help in the reconciliation process. Ask for wisdom to handle the situation with grace and strength to change any negative behaviour.
3. Express regret. Clearly and sincerely express regret for the hurt or harm you have caused.
4. Sincerely ask for their forgiveness. This should be done humbly and with genuine remorse.
5. Listen and validate. Give the offended person an opportunity to express their feelings and concerns. Listen without interrupting or defending yourself, and validate their feelings.
6. Commit to change. Show a genuine commitment to changing your behaviour.
By following these steps, we can work towards mending relationships with those we have offended.
By Peter Collins Obeng
(GRACE COVENANT GLORY)
